January 2013

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

I can find no evidence that the last three days of programming haven’t all occurred inside my head.  I have extremely distinct memories of adding in code to make it so that the enemies would take damage and bounce off of fire objects, and I remember planning on adding an “on fire” animation to the list of things to do.  I can distinctly remember the issues I had troubleshooting it when it didn’t work, and calling it all good when I finally got it, because it was getting close to night time and I’d work on the rest the next day.  And the next day, when I decided it was time to start working on a parallax scrolling background to go in front of the sky, and spending forever making one and the after hours programming it in so it looked good, realizing that I’d forgotten to shade it like I did the sky-background to show nighttime, and then just dragging it out of the field of view until I could fix it.
When I brought my files to work yesterday to work on them, I thought I’d just forgotten to drag the folder onto the thumb drive, since I was operating off of my “last version.”  But when I got home, I couldn’t find anything to show that I’d ever done any work at all.
At first I thought maybe I’d deleted the other files and overwritten them with the ones from the thumb drive (essentially reverting to my last version), which is still a possibility, except that whenever I do that, I actually delete them, not just overwrite them.  And there was nothing in the recycle bin from my game that was dated since December 16th.
The power also went out a few days ago, and I thought that maybe I’d left everything up without saving and just lost my progress.  But Torque won’t actually compile and run anything without saving, so there was no way I could have tested everything without saving my progress.  I can’t imagine that windows would have done any restore-point nonsense without informing me of it when I turned my computer back on.

The only other option is that I made the whole thing up.  I’ve been pretty sick the last week or so; especially over the last three days.  I’ve been going through dayquil like it was soda, and I’ve been so cold lately, I’m pretty sure I have at least a minor fever.  When I got home from work today, my last memory before waking up curled in a ball on the bed was getting ready to go and take out the recycling- when I woke up, the recycling was still here, but I was dressed and ready to go, and it was two hours later.
But I wouldn’t have just lost time, I’d’ve completely fabricated ridiculously intricate memories of conceptualizing, programming, testing, troubleshooting, and finishing two major pieces of code.

I think I’m going crazy.